308. Policy of Truth

Cain came into the lounge and sat down in a miserable slump. “I hate to ask you guys this, but… But I don’t know what else to do.”

“Ask us what,” Ziggy demanded.

“Can I ride with you guys? I’m just… I…” He shut his eyes and let his head fall back. “I don’t feel safe.”

Ziggy and I looked at each other again, making questioning eyes at each other.

Ziggy was better at being blunt than I was. “Are you gay?”

“Doesn’t matter if I am,” Cain said. “It’s that they think I am.”

“Ahhh, fuck,” I said. “And it doesn’t matter if any of us are or not, either. They’ll bash us just the same.”

Cain nodded, looking pained. “I should… I should tell you one other thing, though. Because I want to say I’m sorry.”


“I’m the one who painted the word on the bus. They… they made me do it. You know. to prove I wasn’t one.” His head dropped forward again, hiding his face in a bottle-black curtain.

“But let me guess,” Ziggy said. “That wasn’t enough.”

“It’s never enough,” Cain said. “And it’s just getting worse.”

“So you think the pyro accident was no accident?” Ziggy pressed.

“I don’t know what to think about that.” Cain rubbed his eyes. “I didn’t hear them talking about it or anything. When the gerbs went off during our set I nearly peed myself. I don’t know if I was the only one they didn’t bother to tell or what. I’m never that close to the front anyway so maybe it didn’t matter.”

“So fucking stupid,” I said.

And then someone else was knocking. It was a cop, with Carynne. He told us he just needed to take some statements from us. We did it one at a time in the back of the bus–Cain, too. When the officer was done he thanked us and left.

Carynne stayed. I introduced her to Cain. “He wants to move in with us,” I said. “Go on and tell her what you told us.”

By then I was really wiped out and wanting to sleep. I only half-listened to what he said, but it was pretty much the same.

“You’ve got a lot of balls confessing that and also asking for shelter,” she said, scratching her head a little. “If it’s okay with Daron and Ziggy just let me check the others before we make any final decision.”

At that point, I crawled into my bunk and fell asleep. I woke up a while later and we were on the road.

(Remember, if you have questions to ask ctan to be answered in the next Liner Note, about writing, about DGC, about Boston, about whatever, email them to ctan.writer @ gmail, or leave them in a comment on the previous note.)


  • Jude says:

    Poor guy. Not a drummer, alas, IIRC.

  • Walker says:

    I hope they took pity on him and let him ride with them and managed to rescue his belongings/equipment from the other band. 🙂

  • tatyana says:

    Cain never answered the question though… is he gay?

    • daron says:

      I noticed.

      Couldn’t really call him on it, though, when that’s the sort of answer I might’ve given when I wasn’t sure how friendly the reception would be.

      • Bill Heath says:

        Cain’s answer revealed far more about Megacrap and Cain than confirming or denying his sexual orienetation would have. It doesn’t matter whether Cain, Ziggy, Daron or the bus driver is gay. The shit’s only going to get worse.

        As for Cain, he doesn’t approve of homophobia or homophobic actions and is acting on his disapproval. That’s far more important than his orientation any day.

  • Treasure says:

    Yea I noticed that he never answered the question either, but can you blame him look at how homophobic the Mega Jerks are. He doesn’t know if the Moondog Three are either. But I think he is gay because he’s the only one in the group to go out his way to have a civil conversation with Daron. Maybe he was trying to flirt with him lol.

    • ctan says:

      Well, Daron doesn’t blame him for not coming out and saying it–it’s probably as ingrained in Cain as deeply as it was in Daron himself.

  • deb h says:

    loved it ,I like Cain ,I don’t know why but he was the only kind of nice one out of the bunch.Shame he painted the bus though,loses points for that.I guess I can understand wanting to fit in but he needs a better band to tour with.Shame he is a bass player,they have one of those already ,maybe a second guitar player since the hand injury?or maybe they can hook him up with a real band instead of the mega-jerks?

  • Krista_without an h says:

    Daron needs a mini-vacation, a massage, to get laid and sleep… poor thing- shouldnt have to stress about this stuff… remember when it was just about playing music?
    Darons doing a great job though being Boss- they’re lucky to have each other.

    Cain should probably just pack it up and head out though… I dont buy it- if Cain is such a good guy, how’d his band bully him that much and then he’s running for cover with Moondog. Something doesnt add up- Does he really think his band won’t notice where he is? And its not Moondog he’s going back on stage with soon.

    • ctan says:

      I don’t think people necessarily think things all the way through when all they want to do is get away from danger.

      • Bill Heath says:

        ^^This. Cain realized that MT is capable of violence with the assault-by-gerb and is in survival mode.

        I think his answer to the “are you gay” question was perfect. It didn’t matter because they thought he was. It establishes motive for MT without needing to state that anyone in M3 is not heterosexual.

  • T L Thurston says:

    Hmm what the hell does that mean lol?

  • Songquake says:

    Ask him. He might play drums, too. It’s not that unusual for musicians to pick up totally different instruments. Maybe he played drums first.

    (Then again, I’m probably the only one who really does want to keep Chris around, give him a chance for redemption. I like a nice redemption arc, yanno?)

    And…I’ve not quite done a 180 on Cain, but I feel like granting sanctuary is just the decent thing to do.

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