Not cholera. Typhoid. I’m here for another two weeks, they say. The fever is down but there are various reasons why they have to keep my here. I have only grasped the bare minimum. They don’t talk to me much. Maybe I’m contagious, still?
A month since I last wrote. A month. I can explain. The problem with lies is that they can become the truth. This happens to me often, and always has. I would lie to stay out of school, for example, tricking my mother into thinking I had a fever by sipping her coffee when she […]
It’s no good. I can’t meditate, can’t sing, can’t even sit still. I’ve tried to call twice more. Two more times, “She’s asleep.”
Tried to call my mother again today. Different time of day, different person, same answer: she’s asleep. I tried to impress upon them that I’m calling from very far away. They tried to impress upon me that she’s very hard to wake. I worry. This worries me. Is she asleep or unconscious?
And today I have the hangover. Headache. I feel awful. From two ounces of alcohol. Well, I’m no longer used to it. I suppose I was asking for it. Maybe it was trying to make that Christmas phone call that brought me to my latest realization. I chant and my mind opens and I see […]
The Christmas spirit caught up with a couple more of the musicians from western countries today. So I guess yesterday was Christmas eve. The result was… a bunch of us had a party? Is that what I should call it? We went out, anyway, and had food and rotgut alcohol at a place I hesitate […]
While collecting alms in the street today I overheard one tourist tell another “Merry Christmas.” At first I thought “what an absurd idiosyncrasy for two grown men to have in their manner of addressing one another.” Then I realized, no, wait, it must be Christmas. This doesn’t seem possible, and yet it is.
Ecstasy is seductive. Like drugs except without the bad side effects. It’s blinding in its way, too. I’ve been through every kind of emotion while singing here. Sometimes the entire group will float upward in joy. Sometimes we’ll mysteriously all cry. This spiritual cleansing and energizing is very seductive–of course it is. It feels good […]
(Whoops, sorry folks, formatting error had appended this entry to the end of the previous. Fixed now…? We’re about two-thirds of the way through Ziggy’s diary. -ctan) I didn’t realize how many days have passed since I last wrote. In fact I don’t know how many, but a lot. I’m at an ashram now that’s […]
They sing the names of god. Gods. All of them.