Tag Archives: claire

Lift Me Up

I spent that night at the hospital. Ziggy went back to the hotel after midnight but I stayed through till morning, as I often did. There was a bed I could sleep in but I didn’t sleep so much as nap at points when she appeared to be out cold. Sometimes she didn’t sleep, though, […]

Song & Emotion

Two days later, when I joined Claire and Rita for a game of hearts in the activity room, Rita pushed a file folder in my direction. Her cheeks were pink and she cleared her throat. “My daughter informs me that if I don’t get your autograph she’s cancelling her Mother’s Day visit.” Claire was holding […]

Silent All These Years

The thing about having a relative dying of a terminal illness is that no one asks you why you’re crying. They think they know. (Which sometimes means they know more than you do.)

Symphony of Destruction

I went to mass on Easter Sunday alone. Claire wanted to go, but at the last minute said she didn’t feel up to it. Somehow that turned into me going on my own. The two most popular masses at any Catholic church are going to be Easter and Christmas. So even if I was in […]

Burden in my Hand

By the time we finally saw her, Claire was doped up on post-surgery meds and feeling no pain. Her smile when she saw me and Courtney was huge, and she threw open her arms like she could hug us from the hospital bed, but she was reclined back and there were tubes in her arms […]

Mama, I’m Coming Home

Life doesn’t often give you a situation that is a clear fork in the road. This or that. Left or right. As Ziggy would say, no false dichotomies, please. But I really did appear to have two paths I could take if I didn’t want to drive myself slowly insane, alone in my hotel room.

Mother’s Little Helper

Remember to join Daron for a chat from 8-9p tonight and me on YouTube at https://youtu.be/Xmew_g9ktp8 from 9p-10p eastern time! — The week following her treatments was pretty miserable. There’s no other way to put it. I can give you the medical terms like “digestive difficulties” but those words don’t really convey what it was […]

Other Voices

I want you to understand what I was going through, but I didn’t understand it myself, and I still don’t. So I’ll just tell you what was happening and maybe you can figure it out. I don’t mean what was happening logistically: what had happened in that realm was I had become the person Claire […]

Cold Cold Heart

When Claire didn’t come back downstairs after an hour, a small debate ensued about whether we should go and check on her. While me and Courtney and Janine were arguing about it, Ziggy just went and looked in on her, and then came down to say she was lying down but she was fine. I […]

Like the Weather

The next day was Christmas Eve proper. Court and I got to the house maybe an hour before noon to find Janine and Claire in an argument and Landon nowhere to be seen. “Traditionally,” Claire was saying, “we would have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve and open gifts then and on Christmas Day it would […]