(Happy Thanksgiving if you’re in the US! If you’ve spent time with your biological family and now you’re ready to spend time with your chosen family instead, welcome to Daron’s. -ctan) — Bart called. I woke up with the phone ringing, and I picked it up and it was Bart. I lay on the bed, […]
Flight time from Buenos Aires to Sao Paulo was about three hours. Before we were allowed to board our plane, though, we were held in a closed off lounge in the airport. I didn’t think anything of it until three men in uniform–police inspectors of some kind–came in with a dog. A drug-sniffing dog, of […]
I had always attributed the buzz in a room when Ziggy and I walked into a place to the fact that Ziggy is like that. He draws every eye to him like a beacon. I didn’t have to be there for that to happen. But maybe it was the fact that this was supposed to […]
In the morning I examined whether my idealism about the relationship being dead was actually the same thing as the relationship being dead. In the morning I felt less fatalistic about it, anyway. Maybe a good cry does that. These are the thoughts I had in the shower after Jonathan left for work: Maybe I […]
I jerked off in the shower because I figured it would help more than hurt. All it meant was then my hair was wet and some more of the eyeliner was gone when I lay down, trying to figure out what to do with myself. I decided I might as well write a song. The […]
At 10:45 in the morning I was awakened by the sound of the door opening partway and then the chain clunking hard against the door while a sort of Spanish-sounding woman’s voice muttered an apology. The door shut again and I found myself staring at the ceiling, as if my eyes were awake before my […]
I lay for a long time on top of the bedspread with my clothes on, thinking, thinking. I couldn’t even remember half of what we had just said, which was unusual. Usually I could play back a traumatic exchange like a movie. In fact, I was usually helpless to stop the endless replays. But it […]
Bart’s face was stony calm but his voice wavered as he said “Do you mind telling me what the fuck is going on with you?” ‘Fuck’ hit me like a mic pop and I flinched. My hair hung in sweaty strings down my face and I slid to the floor, my legs crossed under me. […]
Bart found me in the basement. He came in carrying an acoustic guitar case and set it down carefully next to me before he sat down cross-legged himself. “What’s this?” He pushed his chin at me and I opened the case. I took out a silky-finish classical guitar. The name label inside the sound hole […]
It took a few days, but rehearsals began to get somewhat better–either that or I was just adjusting to my crippled state. The transitions were smoother, and even though I felt held back by the limitations of my fingers, the new material did not sound as bad as I’d feared. I couldn’t play chords or […]